Things Not To Discuss With Men!
What topics do men prefer not to mention in their conversation with ladies? The article lists simple rules for communicating with a man. Women are very fond of talking. Especially with men. However, if it is absolutely frank, sometimes it is better to stop in this beautiful occupation.
How to understand when it is better simply to smile and remain silent for ladies? Which topics should not be discussed in a conversation with a stronger sex? Experts decided to talk about this with men. Below you can see the most common ideas.
Beautiful ladies, observe a few simple rules, and you will have all the chances to become a perfect couple. They will help you not to ruin your good relationship and become closer to your partner. There are eight main rules, here you are.
- Convos About Your Exes
Ashley Batz/Bustle
While it’s certainly fine to occasionally talk about your exes, what they were like, and what you might have learned from those relationships, it’s not a good idea to rehash the past over and over again — especially in the early days of your relationship.
“Yes, it is important to understand why your ex and their ex are no longer together but avoid discussing it in detail,” Romo says. “Bringing up intimate details of their past with you can … trigger insecurities that you may project onto your partner.”
Of course, there may come a time when you both feel more comfortable talking about exes, or making light of past experiences. But make sure you’re both to that point, and feel secure, before you do.
- Your History Of Cheating
Ashley Batz/Bustle
If you cheated on an ex or two, it may be a good idea to talk about it with your current partner, to ensure that it doesn’t happen again. Why did you cheat? What pushed you to that point? Sharing these things can certainly make for a healthy convo.
And yet, this is another topic you may not want to go on and on about. “Talking about cheating can trigger you or your partner and it can quickly become an intense conversational topic,” Romo says. “Keep it light and honest because going into the details can create mistrust, judgments, and projections from you or your partner … If you or your partner acknowledges it was something you learned from and that moving forward you no longer will behave that way, then leave it at that.”
- Things You Don’t Like About Your Partner’s Family
Andrew Zaeh for Bustle
We can’t help where we come from, so if your partner has a difficult family, keep in mind that bashing them may not be helpful. You should share with your partner if their family is putting you down in some way, but simply bringing up how you dislike them can make things even more difficult on your partner.
“Sure, maybe your partner’s family drives you nuts. But sometimes it is important to allow your partner to do the venting and be supportive of them through it,” Romo says. “Their family is always going to be there so it is important to find boundaries around how you want to interact with them. It can cause potential harm to the relationship to tell your partner how much you disapprove of their family.”
- Intimate Details Of Past Sexual Experiences
Andrew Zaeh for Bustle
Every couple is different, so if you two enjoy sharing details of your past sexual encounters, then go for it. But for some couples, this type of conversation can wind up being one that’s too painful to bring up on the regular.
“The problem with knowing those details is that it leaves people constantly comparing themselves to the prior partner,” Hilary Cobb, LCSW, owner and therapist at Still Waters Behavioral Health, tells Bustle. And these comparisons can create insecurities that might crop up after a fight, Cobb says, and potentially damage your connection over time.
The most necessary time to talk about sexual history is when talking about STIs, so you get the info you need to stay healthy. “But simple things like how often you had sex,” Cobb says, may be a topic you should avoid.
- Harmless Crushes
Andrew Zaeh for Bustle
It’s not always possible to go through life without developing a few tiny, harmless crushes. You might get the hots for your barista, your funny coworker, or that intriguing stranger you always see at the gym. But even though you may find it thrilling, that doesn’t necessarily mean your partner needs to hear about it.
Not only will it be painful for them to hear — and possibly cause them to worry, needlessly — but there’s something to be said for keeping certain things to yourself. “We all have a right to some privacy and, no, you are not lying or selfish to keep these things to yourself,” Kerry Lusignan, founder of the Northamptom Center for Couples Therapy, tells Bustle. “In fact, I’d argue that to keep some things private is an act of care and tenderness. It can protect your partner’s vulnerable heart from your uncensored self.”
- Past Traumas
Andrew Zaeh for Bustle
While you certainly want to be there for your partner, and be the person they can lean on for support, that doesn’t mean you need to talk about past traumas casually, or ask your partner to give details if they’re not comfortable. Similarly, if you experienced trauma and you do not feel comfortable sharing those memories, you do not have to.
“If your partner has had trauma or serious issues in the past, you need to be very careful trying to ‘address’ it,” Jonathan Bennett, certified counselor and co-founder of Double Trust Dating and Relationships, tells Bustle. “Even talking about some of these events could trigger panic attacks or cause your partner to shut down emotionally. These are issues best approached on your partner’s time with someone qualified (like a therapist).” And the same goes for you if the situation is reversed — let your partner know that discussing this topic could trigger you, and ask them to respect your boundaries.
